For what it’s worth…

Since birth we are cultured to go to school and get a good education, get a good job, get married and have a family, and also amass wealth along the way (preferably before you’re 30). All these things are great life goals. However, what happens if you don’t attain these things? What if you matriculate high school with a mediocre education, and obtain an “okay” job (well it pays the bills)? What if you’re not a professional or executive at 30? What if you’re still confused and just trying to keep it together?

I had a plan – goals I wanted to achieve before 30. I’m not 30 as yet, but based on what’s happened in my life, I doubt that I will be able to accomplish everything by the time I’m 30 years of age. I expected to be married at 23 and have my first child by 25. I thought I would’ve been an actuary and received my PhD by 27 and have a successful business by then. In fact, I got a really good start at life. I received my Bachelor’s Degree at the age of 20. I was in a really got job with lots of potential until I was 22. Then I made some poor decisions.  At the time I thought those decisions would bring me to my academic and professional goals quicker, and maybe they would have had I remained focused and allowed myself to move forward during adversity. To add fuel to the fire, I was in one sucky relationship after the next. I was drowning in an abyss of self-pity, self-loathing and self-indulgence.

I think it was around my 25th birthday that I knew I hadn’t realized a lot of my potential. (Fortunately for me, I met someone who still wanted to marry me with all my flaws.) I realized that I needed to stop wallowing and comparing myself to others (I still do this but not nearly was often as before.) Everyone has their OWN journey in this mortal life. Ultimately we want to be happy with the person we become and we want to achieve our fullest potential. I know all about being distracted along the way and fall off course but that doesn’t mean we cannot get back on the path.

So even though everyone I went to school with or left behind in school have all gone on to owning their own businesses, become lawyers, doctors, and other professionals. Even though they’re living a comfortable life to take regular trips to exotic locations and just have this super cool “instagram worth” life, it doesn’t mean my life is mediocre or not fulfilling.

Right now I have an “okay” job. I’ve attained one of my exams to becoming an actuary (out of like a million exams) and I’m still trying to push myself to do another exam next year. I won’t finish them all by the time I’m 30 but it doesn’t mean that I won’t complete them. I’m hoping to start a Master’s degree programme within the next two years. I bought some materials and now I’m playing around with some business ideas, although it’s still too soon to say when I will actually launch a business. I’m finally married! Awesome! So I hope to have children within the next 3 years. Wasn’t my ideal plan for my life. However, it’s my journey. I made my mistakes, I learned from them and now it’s time to move forward.

In the end, that’s what matters most. The will to keep moving forward – to keep enduring. Love life, even when it’s a pain in the butt. We’ll all find our happiness if we are willing to keep going until we find it.

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