For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall become one flesh
– Esphesians 5:31
The traditional marital vows speak of husband and wife becoming one. Clearly this is not a physical joining. It refers to becoming ‘one’ (or united) in an ultimate goal (this being a successful marriage).
It speaks to us loving each other when things are really awesome and even when things are so bad that the pits of hell seem inviting. I’ve been married for almost 7 months which isn’t a long time and I’ve seen how much work needs to be put into a marriage to make it work. We are two different personalities who have now made the choice to join our lives, our space, our annoying habits, our pet-peeves, our deepest insecurities, our finances, our debt, our time and most importantly our love.
There are times I feel like ripping my hair out because I wonder,
‘why can’t he see things my way?’
The fact is, we are different. We have some common interests and some ‘not so common’ interests. But one thing we do have in common is our desire to love each other and to have a happy life with each other.
I know I’m not the easiest person to live with. I am strong-willed, proud and I hate being wrong. But those aren’t my only traits. Likewise, my husband has some really good characters despite his flaws. I’ve come to realize that becoming one isn’t some magical thing that happens after marriage. It’s something that takes time – maybe even a lifetime. However, the more effort we put into our marriage the more our love will grow for that person and the more we will come to understand one another. That I believe is truly becoming one.
Do I really believe that two souls can become one? Well, I believe I’m on that journey right now. It’s an uphill climb but I believe that it is worth it.